


I Wanna Love You So Bad

by shineandhowl



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Mention of Past Members, Minor Byun Baekhyun/Kim Jongdae | Chen, Minor Kim Jongin | Kai/Oh Sehun, Minor Kim Junmyeon | Suho/Bae Joohyun | Irene, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-28
Updated: 2020-06-28
Packaged: 2021-03-04 08:56:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,829
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24967081
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shineandhowl/pseuds/shineandhowl
Summary: Chanyeol has been friends with benefits with Kyungsoo since freshmen year. Now that they are graduating, Chanyeol wants it to stop and be real with Kyungsoo. The problem is: does Kyungsoo wants it too?
Relationships: Do Kyungsoo | D.O/Park Chanyeol
Comments: 9
Kudos: 93
Collections: The GraduaXion





	I Wanna Love You So Bad

**Author's Note:**

> To mods: You guys are so kind. Thank you for being patient and supportive! You guys worked hard for this fest! Thank you!  
> To everyone in the writers' groupchat: You guys are the best! Thank you for all the kind words!  
> To readers: Please know that this is un-beta-ed. So please be patient with all the typos and weird sentences. This is being written between 12am to 4am for the past 3/4 (or was it longer?) weeks. I hope you guys can give feedback so I can improve my writing. Please give lots of love to other fics as well!
> 
> Title inspired by NYK's FWB

It’s 10.45pm and the party at Baekhyun’s frat house was already in full blast the moment Chanyeol stepped off his scooter which he parked near to the walkway of the double-storey bungalow.

Lots of his male friends told him to trade the scooter with a superbike. It seemed sissy for muscular guys like Chanyeol to own a scooter, let alone riding it.

(One of the reasons he chose to stay off-campus instead of staying in a frat house even if he is a legacy. Apparently he can’t live the way he wants to if he becomes a frat guy, including owning and riding a scooter, owning a puppy, etc.)

Chanyeol knew that but he doesn’t care. A scooter is low-maintenance, doesn’t use a lot of petrol and it’s a comfortable ride that already brought him to a lot of places (including his dates).

“Ssup, man!”

Chanyeol, who was walking towards the door, turned to find Sehun just stepped off his car. He grinned towards his friend before doing their (un)usual handshake.

“Man, Byun Baekhyun sure knows how to party.” Sehun stated when they ended their handshake with a shoulder bump.

Chanyeol couldn’t agree more. One thing he could say about Baekhyun is that the guy could throw the best party among university frat houses that could last until the early hours, cleaned the whole house before dawn with his frat bros (those who were not high or drunk or getting one night stand in one of the rooms), and still managed to ace his test in his Economics class the next day. No wonder Baekhyun was chosen by the seniors to lead the house.

They walked side by side into the frat house. They greeted the people they know (Chanyeol, Sehun, and Baekhyun have the same circle of friends, so basically they know everybody).

“Sehun! Chanyeol! Over here!”

Chanyeol looked around to see who called them. He laughed when he saw Baekhyun waved from the crowd on the dance floor. The smaller tried to push himself out of the dancing university students to greet two of his VIP guests.

“I thought you guys aren’t coming!” Baekhyun screamed, trying to defy the loudness of the EDM music playing from the speaker.

“How can we not come to our best friend’s Party of the Week?” Sehun replied in the same fashion.

“Aw, I’m flattered!” Baekhyun lightly punched Sehun’s stomach. “Anyway, I need to get back to the floor. Jongdae is probably dying without me joining him humiliating himself with his weird dance moves! Drinks are in the usual place!”

Baekhyun tried to pull Chanyeol and Sehun towards the dance floor too but they both opted out, telling Baekhyun they’re not in the mood to dance among the sweaty university students.

“Ugh, you no fun. Go away. You’re stinking up the floor.” Baekhyun said before returning to where he came from.

Chanyeol and Sehun just chuckled looking at their smaller friend. Baekhyun could be so dramatic when he wants to. They both wanted to grab some drinks from the kitchen but Sehun was stopped by a pull on his arms.

It turned out to be Jongin, one of the campus’s hottest dancers, and Sehun’s crush. He wanted to ask Sehun to watch his crew participating in a dance battle with another famous crew of the university on the dance floor. Chanyeol chuckled at the sight of his best friend blushing like a stupid lovesick person. He pushed Sehun’s shoulder with his own, telling Sehun to go with Jongin.

“One advice though; don’t drool.” Chanyeol whispered to Sehun before smacking his butt.

Sehun glared at him before following Jongin. Chanyeol laughed when Sehun ran his fingers on the back of his head before flashing his middle finger towards Chanyeol. Feeling alone, he walked to the kitchen, resuming his initial plan to grab a cola from the kitchen.

For some weird reason, he doesn’t really fancy any types of alcoholic drinks including the beers. He tasted beer, soju, and wine before though but he likes none of them. It’s too bitter or sour to him. Some people actually pitied him because of this. They said Chanyeol will have a lot of stress because he couldn’t stand the taste of what they called ‘the miraculous cure to all problems in the world’.

Chanyeol doesn’t agree though. Before moving out of the dorm to stay alone off-campus, he watched his roommate (Sehun) had a hard time nursing his hangover. On the weekends when he stayed back instead of going home, he will meet people who looked terrible in the hallway and the shared bathroom will reek of vomit and pee.

That’s definitely not a cure. It’s more like the cause of lots of problems in the world.

The mere sight made Chanyeol decided to ban drinking from his life agenda.

Thankfully, the frat boys understand the fact that there will be a lot of people like Chanyeol in this university that will attend their parties. So, they will buy cartons of cola since the plan of putting carbonated drink inside an iced beverage dispenser was a disaster (a few years before Chanyeol and his friends attended the university, there was an incident where some guys spiked it and let’s just say the outcome was not pretty for those who don’t drink).

Chanyeol wanted to just stay at the kitchen because he’s not in the mood to mingle around (he had a long day, so he just came to meet Sehun and Baekhyun, drink cola, and go home). When he reached the kitchen, he was welcomed with a view of a couple kissing (or more like the guy was nearly swallowing the face of the girl).

Chanyeol recognised the pair; Kim Junmyeon and Bae Joohyun. One of the perks of having the nosiest friend in his group of friends (read: Byun Baekhyun), he was told there were some rumours saying Junmyeon has been chasing Joohyun since their freshman year. He somehow knew Junmyeon although they were not close because of Baekhyun (that guy knows everybody). Junmyeon is one of the most loyal men he ever knows. He has the same group of friends (if he’s not mistaken, their names are Yixing, Minseok, Luhan, and Yifan) since the day he entered the university. He always supports every activities joined by his friends. With the look, brain, and wealth (according to Baekhyun, he’s filthy rich), people literally throw themselves to his feet. So, he could get anybody he wants, but he’s loyal to Joohyun. They’re in their senior year now, and it looked like Joohyun finally accepted Junmyeon.

He didn’t understand why he can’t just step into the kitchen quietly and grab the cola can in the cooler. He felt like he will invade their privacy even though this place is not that private. He was planning his steps towards the cooler when he felt his phone vibrated.

**From: soo**

stop looking at them, u perv

_11:09pm_

Chanyeol frowned. He looked around to find his smaller friend before he found Kyungsoo was approximately 10 metres away from where he was standing. He grinned and waved enthusiastically to the smaller, which he replied in a shy manner. Chanyeol saw him typing on his phone before he looked at Chanyeol again and pointed at his phone. He looked at his phone to find another message from his friend.

**From: soo**

just pretend u didnt see anything and grab the damn cola

come and join me in the lonely hearts corner

i’m dying alone here

_11:10pm_

Chanyeol nodded before stepping into the kitchen quietly. Somehow the couple kept on eating each other’s faces without realising they weren’t alone anymore. Thankfully, Chanyeol managed to grab two cans (just in case Kyungsoo wants cola too) without getting any glares.

Kyungsoo flashed his heart-shaped smile to Chanyeol when the taller was walking towards him.

“Cola?” Chanyeol offered one of the cans.

“I’m good, thanks.” Kyungsoo lifted up his red cup filled with beer.

“So, Junmyeon is officially Joohyun’s now?” Chanyeol asked while cracking the cola can.

“Yep. Everyone actually whooped when Joohyun pulled Junmyeon into a making-out session in the middle of the dance floor just now. I can’t believe a shy person could do that. I’m not sure if she’s drunk though but she seemed to walk to the kitchen normally just now. So I guess she’s not accepting him under the influence.”

“Well, ain’t that sweet?” Chanyeol chuckled.

“Okay, enough about the new power couple. So, how’ve you been? We haven’t talked in a while right?”

Chanyeol began to tell about his day today. He only had two classes in the morning today, but the workload was increasing as they were entering the second term. Being in the senior year has its own perks but the assignments were fucking up his life. He didn’t have time to make music or Netflix anymore. All he did were attending his classes, eat, doing his assignments, sleep, and cry in between everything. He was late tonight because he was working on his group assignment with his group in the library since 6pm. It was at 10pm when everybody just burned out and decided to call it a night. Kyungsoo listened to him quietly with supportive pats on the shoulder during the right moments.

“So, that’s my day.” Chanyeol shrugged. “How’s yours? You looked like a zombie though. Did you even sleep?”

“Oh, God.” Kyungsoo groaned. “Where to start?”

It’s Chanyeol’s turn to listen to Kyungsoo. He likes to listen to Kyungsoo’s storytelling. He will tell the stories in details which somehow will bring Chanyeol into the same situation. The passionate voice lures Chanyeol to listen to each words coming out from Kyungsoo’s mouth.

However, there’s one thing that Chanyeol didn’t like when Kyungsoo is telling his stories.

When he has alcohol in his hand, the smaller tends to sip the drink after like ten sentences. This will be worse if he’s dealing with his problems while in stress. Chanyeol will try to stop Kyungsoo from drinking but he will push away his hands and keep on drinking. He can’t even stop him from refilling his red cup. So, he learns to back off and just let Kyungsoo do what he wants.

At this point, it’s been the fourth time since Kyungsoo started to refill his beer. He was in the middle of talking about his lecturer being biased while marking their test papers when he realised his cup was already empty. He stumbled his way towards the kitchen. Chanyeol just watched the doe-eyed man threw away his red cup and reached out for a bottle of soju from the cooler.

“Where was I just now?” Kyungsoo asked.

“Professor Im being a jackass for playing favourites?” Chanyeol answered.

“God, he’s a jackass. I love the subject but I hate him.” The smaller became drunk whiny.

Kyungsoo continued to whine about his professor. Chanyeol tried to fight the urge to grab the soju bottle from the smaller but he just let Kyungsoo gulped down the alcoholic drink. As Kyungsoo went on and on about his stories, his words became more slurry. He giggled more even though his story was about him finding a lost kitten in the drain when he was on his way home. His chubby cheeks were getting redder as if someone put the blusher on it.

That’s when Chanyeol knew his friend was getting drunk.

Suddenly, Kyungsoo stopped talking. He shook the bottle hard just to find it empty. Chanyeol silently felt thankful for that. But Kyungsoo gave out his shy, goofy drunk smile to the taller before trying to move towards the kitchen again. When he realised Kyungsoo was reaching for another bottle of soju, he immediately ran scrambled towards him.

“Hey. Hey. Hey.” Chanyeol tried to pull out the bottle from Kyungsoo’s hand. “I think you’ve drank enough. Why don’t you stop? Do you want iced water? I can grab it for you.”

“No. Give it back to me.” Kyungsoo whined like a baby losing his bottle.

“You’ve had enough, Kyungsoo. You need to stop now. You’ll regret about this in the morning.”

“I can handle the hangover. As if-” Kyungsoo hiccupped. “As if I never had it before.”

“No, Soo. Stop.”

Chanyeol tried to say in a firm voice as he’s struggling to stop the loud laugh threatening to come out of his throat. A sober Kyungsoo is cute already, but a drunken Kyungsoo is adorable. He looked tinier than he already is making Chanyeol wanted to keep it in his pocket.

“You need to lie down, Soo. Let’s see if there are any rooms available yeah?”

Thankfully, Kyungsoo didn’t try to resist. Chanyeol wrapped his arm around Kyungsoo’s small shoulder and put Kyungsoo’s arm around his waist. He met Sehun (who was super blushing watching his crush dancing his ass off) along the way and told him he will bring Kyungsoo to one of the rooms for the smaller to rest for a while.

As he is one of the honorary guests of the frat house – because he’s the president’s best friend, he has the privilege to use any of the facilities inside the house, including sleeping in one of the many rooms. The guys are cool with it as long as Chanyeol will tidy up the place before he leaves.

After a few attempts of finding an empty room (Lord, the views he had to face to see if nobody is inside), he found one. He struggled to drag Kyungsoo inside since Kyungsoo’s legs turned to jelly every time he tried to walk. Feeling tired of dragging the smaller (Kyungsoo might be small, but he’s heavy when he’s drunk), Chanyeol scooped him into his arms and he walked towards the bed.

He tried to put Kyungsoo down gently but the doe-eyed guy has a different idea. Before Chanyeol could say anything, he found himself being pulled by Kyungsoo and he fell onto his smaller friend. The taller immediately closed his eyes, waiting for a smack on the head from Kyungsoo. Chanyeol was preparing his apology but he heard a fit of giggles. He looked down to see Kyungsoo was happily giggling.

“Are you afraid of me, Yeollie? Hehe.” Kyungsoo sounded amused. “Is that why you closed your eyes?”

“No!” Chanyeol defended himself. “I’m gonna get you some water. Wait here okay?”

Chanyeol was about to stand up when Kyungsoo pulled him into a hug.

“Hey, you okay?”

“Don’t go.”

“I’m just gonna take the water. It won’t be long.”

“Don’t go.” Kyungsoo turned them over so he could be on top of Chanyeol. “Please.”

“Hey, what’s wrong?”

“Everything is.”

“What do you mean?” Chanyeol put his index finger on Kyungsoo’s chin so that the smaller looked at him.

“It’s stressing me out.”

“What is it?”

“Being in the final term of the senior year is. It’s…stressing me out. The way lecturers just pushed everyone hard so that we can get good grades in our certificate and do well after we graduate.” Kyungsoo stopped for a moment as he looked like he’s thinking of something and then he groaned. “Oh, dude. Graduation too. Graduation is scaring the shit out of me. What if I don’t get a job when I graduated? What if I’ll be jobless for years? I don’t want to let my parents down. They sacrificed a lot just to put me in college.”

Kyungsoo looked like he’s about to cry, so Chanyeol pulled his head closer to his chest and let it rest on it. He patted Kyungsoo’s back, trying to calm his friend. He understands what his worries because he felt the same. Being in the senior year is terrifying as it is one step away from the real adult life. He would be ashamed if he doesn’t get a job or, at least, do something meaningful in his life after slaving away studying for years.

When he said that, the smaller raised his head from his chest to look at him. The pout now turned to a goofy smile, the kind that always appears on Kyungsoo when he’s drunk. Kyungsoo’s small fingers were caressing Chanyeol’s cheek.

“You know,” Kyungsoo began. “This is why I love talking to you. You always know what to say at the right time. I really appreciate that.”

Before Chanyeol could reply, he felt a pair of soft lips attached to his neck. No matter how good that felt, he tried his best to not moan. He balled up his fists to fight the urge to pull Kyungsoo closer. He wanted to tell Kyungsoo to stop but it’s like his lips was zipped and locked.

“You’re really kind, Yeol.”

“Soo– ”

“Shhh~” Kyungsoo nipped his jaw. “You’re so nice to me. Let me be nice to you now. We both need this anyway.”

You mean _you_ need this, Chanyeol thought.

Kyungsoo’s palm was dangerously going down south. His heart-shaped lips were on Chanyeol’s lips now. Chanyeol didn’t hold back when he kissed Kyungsoo back. He can feel Kyungsoo’s smirk. Instead of keeping his body freeze, Chanyeol began to relax. His hands were all over Kyungsoo’s body now. He began to let go and let himself drown in Kyungsoo’s touch.

The moment when he felt his jeans were unzipped, he knew there’s no turning back now.

***

It began during their freshmen year. Chanyeol met Kyungsoo the first time during one of the parties in Baekhyun’s frat house. Since Baekhyun was one of the seniors’ favourite, they let the smaller invited his friends to their parties. He asked if Sehun could come too and the smaller said yes.

They both were nervous since it was their first frat party. They had crazy parties in their dormitory already. Frat parties are different. They’ll meet more people. They have more drinks. The music here is louder too.

They both decided to stick together in a corner, secluded from the eyes of the strangers. They wanted to go back but it will be rude to leave without saying goodbye to the one who invited them but Baekhyun was nowhere to be found. They were having their third cup of carbonated drink when their tiny friend finally reappeared. Behind him, three guys were coming their way to them too.

“Hey.” Baekhyun patted Sehun’s shoulder. “Are you guys okay?”

“Surviving. It’s not like this place is full of zombies.” Chanyeol answered. “Mind introducing us to your friends?”

“Oh, right.” Baekhyun turned to his friends behind him. “Guys, this is my classmate in Economics, Chanyeol, and this is Sehun, his roommate. Guys, this is Jongdae, my ex-roommate when I was in dormitory. This one is his new roommate, Junmyeon. And this one is my friend from the choir, Kyungsoo.”

Chanyeol flashed his friendliest smile towards his new acquaintances, which they all replied back with the same enthusiasm. However, the one caught Chanyeol’s attention the most was Kyungsoo’s smile. It reminded him of the shape of a heart. He’s cute too. Chanyeol fought the urge to pull Kyungsoo’s chubby cheeks. Although the smaller has a strong aura, he couldn’t hide his cute figure. Honest to God, Chanyeol really wanted to keep Kyungsoo inside his pocket.

A jab on the waist (courtesy of Oh Sehun, who has the sharpest elbow in the world) made Chanyeol stopped his eyes from wandering all over Kyungsoo. He immediately felt embarrassed for doing that to someone he just met. Kyungsoo, on the other hand, was profusely blushing.

Sehun, Baekhyun, Jongdae, and Junmyeon immediately bonded together over online gaming and cars. Chanyeol didn’t understand most of what they were saying. He doesn’t like gaming at all. His phone is game-free, which made him the worst uncle to go to among his nephews and nieces. He looked to his left and saw Kyungsoo was looking absentmindedly at the dance floor with a red cup in his hand. Tired of silence, Chanyeol tried to break the ice between him and the smaller.

“Is this your first frat party?”

Kyungsoo was startled when he heard Chanyeol’s voice near to him. The taller apologised for making him shocked. Kyungsoo just sweetly smiled and waved it away before answering.

“Yeah, it is. I didn’t expect to get an invitation though. I’m not the type who party a lot.”

“Oh.” Chanyeol looked genuinely surprised. “Then, why did you agree to come then?”

“One; that bastard could be annoying when he didn’t get what he wants. I didn’t agree at first but Baekhyun just didn’t let it go. So, I just agree before he could do anything more annoying. Two; I need to unwind. It’s been a stressful week.”

“Stressful?” Chanyeol was puzzled. “It’s only been six weeks since we started the classes.”

“Well, I don’t know about you but my lecturers have driving me crazy.”

“Why?”

Chanyeol turned to face Kyungsoo completely. It’s a signal for Kyungsoo to know he is willing to listen to whatever he wants to rant about. He did it because he saw his new friend looked hesitant to continue. They might be new to each other but he wants Kyungsoo to trust him.

“It’s okay if you don’t want to share though. I just want you to know I’m more than fine to listen to you.” He patted Kyungsoo’s shoulder.

Kyungsoo took a deep breath before continuing the story behind his stress. Chanyeol stayed next to him, listening attentively. He wanted to hold Kyungsoo’s hand but he didn’t dare to. He didn’t know if it’s okay for him to cross the boundaries between them yet. For the time being, he just patted the tiny man’s back at appropriate time.

While listening to Kyungsoo, Chanyeol realised something. Kyungsoo drinks a lot. He kept on taking a few swigs after a few sentences. It’s like the more he drink, the more he can let every stress go. Although Kyungsoo is old enough to drink and he looked like someone who can handle his alcohol well, it still made him worried.

When Kyungsoo said he wanted to go for a refill, Chanyeol stopped him by grabbing his arm.

“I think you need to rest, Soo.”

“Soo.” Kyungsoo hiccupped before a giggle came out of his lips. “I like it when you say that.”

“I can say it all night long too. Just please stop drinking. Let’s find a place to lie down.”

Kyungsoo agreed infirmly. Chanyeol held him securely around the waist. While he’s trying to find an empty place, Chanyeol could see Kyungsoo looked longingly at the alcohol drinks but it’s impossible for him to let the smaller to drink more.

Thankfully, he met Baekhyun and his friend told him to just crash in his room. He will go to his old room with Jongdae and Junmyeon to play PUBG. His roommates won’t be around too. So, the room will be empty. Chanyeol walked carefully with Kyungsoo in his arms after bidding goodbye to his friends.

Once they’re inside, he carefully put his new friend on Baekhyun’s bed (he never comes inside Baekhyun’s room but he can tell which one is his bed just by smelling it to confirm it is Baekhyun’s). He stayed by Kyungsoo’s side for a while to make sure he’s okay. When he’s certain Kyungsoo is okay already, he wanted to go down to ask if Baekhyun has painkillers. He just stood up when he heard Kyungsoo called his name.

No.

Kyungsoo moaned his name.

It will be a lie if the sound didn’t send shivers to the back of his neck. He thought he heard it wrong but when he heard it again and it’s louder this time, he froze. He’s afraid to look at Kyungsoo but he knew he should stop the moaning. He took a deep breath before sitting on the floor beside Kyungsoo.

“Soo.” Chanyeol tried to wake Kyungsoo up. “Hey, you okay?”

Suddenly, Kyungsoo opened his eyes, looking straight into Chanyeol’s eyes. The smile spreading on his face scared the shit out of Chanyeol. He tried to slide away from the bed but Kyungsoo was faster. He pulled Chanyeol’s neck and kissed him on the lips hungrily.

Chanyeol froze again. He’s not sure if he should kiss back but the way the smaller pushed himself towards him made him threw away all the doubts and kissed him back. Even when he’s tipsy, Kyungsoo is an amazing kisser – his lips could be the main factor.

“You’re a kind person, Yeol.” Kyungsoo said in between their kisses. “I don’t really open up to new people. But you’re an exception.”

“That’s it? You kissed me because I’m kind?” Chanyeol stopped kissing Kyungsoo which made the smaller whined.

“You’re, like, fucking hot too.”

“Thanks.” Chanyeol laughed before continuing to kiss the tiny guy.

The innocent kiss quickly turned to a hot making out session. The way Kyungsoo just pushed all the right buttons made Chanyeol couldn’t control himself. He wanted Kyungsoo more and more. This might be the last time he could touch Kyungsoo like this. Heck, he might be used only for Kyungsoo’s stress relief.

But if this means he could make Kyungsoo feel better, he’ll be fine with it.

Chanyeol couldn’t remember what happened after that. He didn’t drink at all but Kyungsoo made him feel that intoxicated.

When he woke up the next day, Kyungsoo was still sleeping peacefully in his arms. The bruises all over Kyungsoo’s body made him blushed. He slowly pushed himself off the bed. Thankfully it didn’t wake Kyungsoo up. The smaller just stretched a little before continuing to sleep. Chanyeol fought the urge to squish the life out of Kyungsoo. He put on his clothes before walking out of the four-bedded room. He wanted to stay so badly but sadly he has a class at 10am. He left after he put a glass of water and painkillers (a guy from the frat kindly helped him to find what he’s looking for) beside Kyungsoo.

He was walking out of the class when he received a message from an unknown number.

**From: Unknown Number**

u left without saying goodbye? :(

_12:30pm_

**From: Unknown Number**

it’s kyungsoo btw

i asked baek for your number

i hope u wouldn’t mind

_12:31pm_

Cute, Chanyeol thought as he saved Kyungsoo’s number.

**To: soo**

hey soo

i’m sorry :(

i was in a rush

class @ 10

_12:32pm_

**From: soo**

never mind :)

wanna have lunch together?

_12:33pm_

**To: soo**

what do you have in mind?

_12:34pm_

Kyungsoo asked him to come to a small cafe a few metres away from the campus’s south entrance, which thankfully close to Chanyeol’s faculty. While he’s walking, he took the time to fix his hair, making himself presentable after 2 and half hour of class. He shook the idea of having a lunch date with Kyungsoo off his head. Sleeping together once (although a few rounds) doesn’t mean they’re dating.

His new friend has already arrived when he reached the cafe’s entrance. He waved to Kyungsoo enthusiastically.

“Hey. You waited long?”

“No. I just arrived like five minutes ago. I was buying my food stock nearby.” He showed a huge plastic bag filled with food on the floor near to him. “That’s why I asked you to meet me here. Is it far away from your class?”

“Nope, it’s near actually.”

They were interrupted by the waiter. They ordered their food before resuming their talk.

“There’s a reason why I invited you for lunch though.” Kyungsoo said in a serious tone.

“Oh. What’s up?” Chanyeol asked nervously.

“It’s about last night.”

“Okay.” Chanyeol tried to relax by leaning back on his chair. “What about it?”

“Do you regret it?”

“No. Why would I regret it?”

“I mean, we’re basically still strange to each other. Don’t you feel weird?”

“No.” Chanyeol sincerely answered. “I don’t feel weird. It’s...good, to be honest. I had a good time.”

“Even the sex?”

Chanyeol thought about it for a while before smiling towards Kyungsoo and nodded.

“Do you feel weird though?” Chanyeol passed the question back.

“A little. I swear I didn’t plan to get laid last night. It’s...good. You’re great. I just thought it’s strange to have sex with someone I didn’t know.”

“You know my name and my friends. You know who to call to find me. So we basically know each other.”

“But still.”

“You looked terrible last night. You were literally drowning yourself with beer. I gotta stop you before you passed out or something. And besides, I think you needed a relief. That’s why I just played along with you. I just thought we’ll just make out or something. I didn’t expect we will end up sleeping together.”

“So, this is just a play for you?” Kyungsoo looked hurt.

“No, Soo. God forbid, no.” Chanyeol felt bad. “What I mean was I kissed you back to make you feel better. God, that still sounds so wrong.”

“I understand, Yeol.” Kyungsoo smiled. “Thank you though. I had a good night thanks to you.”

“Not a problem.” Chanyeol grinned.

“I just don’t want this to end. I mean, we still can be friends right?”

“Of course, Soo. I would love to be your friend.” He said with a warm smile.

“Good.” Kyungsoo replied his smile with the same warmth.

Having Kyungsoo in his life didn’t completely change his life 360 degrees. It’s just like having a new friend, like when he met Sehun and Baekhyun for the first time. He’s just happy to have more friends now. It made him feel like his university years will be bearable. He knows who to find whenever he feels everything is unbearable anymore.

However, the change came when he slept with Kyungsoo over and over again whenever the latter feels stress. A call from a drunk and stressed out Kyungsoo is like a booty call for Chanyeol. One second, he was comforting the drunken man with hugs and gentle pats on the back and before he knew it, Kyungsoo’s already on top of him, kissing the life out of Chanyeol.

He tried to push Kyungsoo away a lot of times but then Kyungsoo will cry, saying that he needs this. This will make him forget all the worries and stress. It hurts him to see the smaller cry, so he just stay quiet and do whatever Kyungsoo ask him to do.

Doing this constantly every week (even during weekdays) is bad for Kyungsoo. Even though he’s good at nursing his hangover, it’s not healthy for him. Too much alcohol could fuck up his body. It could affect him academically too. When he voiced this out to Kyungsoo, the smaller just waved it away and saying it’s nothing to worry about.

Chanyeol always tell Kyungsoo to call him whenever he’s stress and wants to talk about it, so he could be there for him and make sure he doesn’t drink the stress away. But the smaller never calls until he’s completely sloshed.

Chanyeol didn’t know if Kyungsoo did it on purpose. Chanyeol wanted Kyungsoo to open up to him without being drunk. It’s not like he hated the sex. He’ll be lying if he didn’t enjoy it one bit. It’s just that he felt like he’s being used for his body. Why couldn’t they just talk about it like normal friends?

He knew he fucked up big time when he realised another thing.

It didn’t help that he himself couldn’t stop giving either.

Chanyeol could stop Kyungsoo.

Here’s the million dollar question: _why didn’t he?_

***

“Ugh, it’s too early for domesticity.”

Chanyeol said it when he entered the frat house’s kitchen the morning after the party. Jongdae was flipping pancakes at the stove while Baekhyun was brewing the coffee. They moved in sync, like how they’ve been doing before they started to date two years ago. Sehun, who was sprawling half of his body on the long table, looked brighter the moment Chanyeol entered the kitchen.

“Ugh, I’m glad you’re here. I feel like puking just by looking at them.”

“Why are you here then?”

“You said Jongdae is making pancakes! You know I can’t resist free food especially Jongdae’s pancakes!”

“You can wait in the living room. I can call you when it’s done. Why wait here?”

“Ugh, too much effort to move.”

“Then, stop complaining when you chose to sit here.”

Chanyeol chuckled. He’ll really miss watching Sehun and Baekhyun small bickering once they graduate in a few months. Jongdae divided the same amount of pancakes on four white plates. They thanked Jongdae and Baekhyun for the breakfast before digging in.

“Ugh.” Sehun moaned in delight. “I swear to God I’m gonna miss these pancakes, Dae.”

“God, why are you being so dramatic this early?” Jongdae laughed after throwing a ball of tissue towards Sehun. “I’m still gonna be in Seoul after we graduate. Unless you’re gonna move somewhere else, you can come over anytime. I’ll make these for you.”

“Aw, how kind of you.” Sehun put his palms over his chest, looking dramatically thankful.

“Speaking of graduating,” Baekhyun said before glancing towards Chanyeol. “When are you gonna tell Kyungsoo?”

“Tell him what?”

“Your feelings.”

“What feelings?”

“Don’t play dumb. Kyungsoo might be oblivious but not us.” Jongdae stated while pointing his fork on the air towards Chanyeol. “We can see you have feelings for Kyungsoo.”

Chanyeol stopped eating for a while. The pancake he swallowed was like expanding in his throat, making him hard to breathe. Is he that obvious?

“Oh, please. You hang out with him more than you ever hang out with me, who knows you before Kyungsoo.” Sehun rolled his eyes. “You guys cooked together in your apartment. You guys have your own Netflix Night every Friday.”

“You never reject his calls; to hang out, to go to watch the movies in the cinema, to have breakfast, lunch, and dinner together.” Baekhyun counted with his fingers. “Oh, let’s not forget the booty calls.”

“When he’s sick, you took care of him in his apartment. So did he when you’re sick.” Jongdae gave him a knowing look.

“Dude, you complained about me and Jongdae being so domestic when we’re just cooking, you don’t even realise you both went for grocery shopping every month. You guys don’t even stay in the same apartment.” Baekhyun added more.

Okay, so he is _that_ obvious.

“I don’t know.”

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t even know if he has the same feeling. I don’t want to confess and ended up getting rejected. It will make the friendship awkward.”

“Soo is dense like a rock when it comes to stuff like this, Yeol. You know that?”

“What if he’s just using me for my body?”

“Playing ‘what if’ questions is dangerous, Chanyeol. You know Kyungsoo doesn’t really open up about his feelings unless we ask him about it.” Jongdae said in calm but firm voice.

“True.” Sehun spoke up. “You shouldn’t assume. Just ask him.”

“It’s not easy.”

“That’s an excuse.” Baekhyun scoffed. “What scares you, Park Chanyeol?”

“Losing him. I’m scared I’ll lose him. I don’t even know if he wants to be in a relationship. I never see him dated anybody for the past four years.”

“Why do you think he didn’t date anybody?”

“He doesn’t want to be tie down I guess. He wants to be a free man.”

The other three scoffed when they heard Chanyeol’s answer.

“God, I can’t believe you got Dean’s List every semester since freshmen year and still be this dumb.” Jongdae shook his head in defeat.

Feeling annoyed, Chanyeol quickly finished his breakfast before taking the plate to the sink to wash it. Baekhyun told him to just leave it there but he ignored him. He’s just so pissed he didn’t even say goodbye to his friends before walking out of the frat house.

While on his way home, he thought about what his friends said just now. He knew he shouldn’t be mad at them. They just wanted to help him.

He was not sure himself about why he suddenly feels pissed off. Maybe it’s because of the fact that he and Kyungsoo couldn’t be more than friends with benefits. It could be because of the reality just completely sunk in; Kyungsoo just used him for his body. He didn’t know if it’s true but the probability to be true is high. He shouldn’t have this thought but he just couldn’t think straight anymore.

Maybe if he just bear it until they graduate, it will be better for him. Once they graduated, distance and time could be the solid reasons on why he couldn’t contact Kyungsoo anymore. That way, he could move on from the smaller easily.

***

Chanyeol didn’t contact any of his friends including Kyungsoo for a few days after he walked out of the frat house. He needed some time to calm himself. They stopped texting him, asking his whereabouts after two days. He’s thankful for having such understanding friends. When he met them one day for lunch, they welcomed him with the usual handshake with some extra warm hugs.

“I’m sorry for being MIA.” Chanyeol said when Junmyeon let go of him.

“Never mind. We understand. We’re sorry for meddling with your love life too. We’re just concerned.” Jongdae said.

“Yeah.” Baekhyun continued. “We just don’t want any of you to get hurt.”

Chanyeol just smiled. He was glad he reconciled with his friends. It kinda hurt him to be alone when he actually needs his friends the most when it comes to nursing his hurting heart.

His friendship (or whatever they are) with Kyungsoo, on the other hand, got better too. Kyungsoo kinda sulked when Chanyeol just went missing without a word to him. His last words to Kyungsoo that night were ‘good night, Soo’ before they went to sleep. He apologised sincerely, saying he has a lot of work to be done and that’s why he didn’t contact him at all. Kyungsoo seemed to be satisfied with his answer, so he didn’t ask more questions, which Chanyeol felt grateful for.

Four weeks have passed since then and they were now slowly reaching their final days in the university. Every senior moved in fast pace including Chanyeol. The way he just passed out every time he reached home indicated how busy his day was. He was glad all of his assignment and reports have completed and now he can focus on his finals. Two finals have concluded and now he only left with one.

He was doing his revision for his last final paper tomorrow noon when his phone rang. He smiled when he saw Kyungsoo’s name.

“Hey, Soo. Ssup, man?” He answered while going through his notes.

“Heeeeeeeey~” Kyungsoo greeted him back in a singsong manner.

Chanyeol stopped reading his notes. He sighed before putting down the papers on the table. He looked at his watch and frowned when he saw it’s only 10.30pm. Then, he remembered it’s the finals week. It’s normal for Kyungsoo to feel the pressure. But he didn’t expect the smaller will drink during the crucial week for seniors like them. Kyungsoo will only stay in his apartment and cram everything until the day of his finals.

“Where are you?”

“You know the club near your place? The one that will give glow sticks to everyone entering the club?”

“Yeah. Yeah, I know.”

“I’m just at the bar. People are looking at me weirdly as if I’m the only one totally wasted here.” Kyungsoo giggled. “Are you coming?”

“Wait for me.”

Chanyeol knew what could happen if he brings Kyungsoo to his apartment, but he still so willingly wanted to pick up the smaller. He could ask Junmyeon to bring him home since he has a car and it will be easier and more comfortable to send Kyungsoo home, but it didn’t stop him from starting his scooter.

He can say no, but why can’t he?

Fuck feelings.

***

Chanyeol slowly closed his bedroom door. He picked up his hoodie that’s lying on the floor near to his bedroom and wore it. After switching on the lamp beside the couch in the living room, he sat down cross-legged in front of the coffee table. His books and notes were still scattered around messily on it. He picked up the note he was revising earlier. It’s 6am and he got four hours of sleep, so he’s good to revise everything before his examination.

As he revised, he couldn’t get rid of the memory from a few hours earlier. He struggled while trying to bring both of them home safely. Not just because he has a drunk Kyungsoo as a passenger. Kyungsoo didn’t even wait for them to arrive at Chanyeol’s apartment building to roam his hands all over Chanyeol’s body. Chanyeol was grateful he didn’t swerve.

When they’re in the elevator, Kyungsoo literally threw himself to Chanyeol, kissing him hard. Again, Chanyeol felt grateful because they’re the only occupants inside. He struggled again when he wanted to open his door. He has to keep Kyungsoo steady in one arm, and used another one to find his keys. It didn’t help when Kyungsoo kept on whispering ‘bedroom’.

And the rest is history.

Thankfully, Kyungsoo passed out immediately after they both reached their peak. Chanyeol cleaned both of them before joining the smaller to sleep.

Chanyeol was at his last few flash cards when he heard the bedroom door creaked. He looked up to see Kyungsoo walked out of the room with messy bed hair and his hands were rubbing the sleep off his eyes.

Cute, he thought.

“Morning.”

“Hey.” Kyungsoo greeted back sleepily. “What are you doing?”

“Studying.”

“You have a paper coming?”

“Yeah, later. 12pm.”

“Why didn’t you say so?” Kyungsoo sounded a little upset. “I could call Baekhyun to pick me up instead.”

“I don’t mind.” Chanyeol smiled to him.

“Well, I do. I don’t want to disturb you.”

“It’s fine, Kyungsoo. I already said I don’t mind.”

He heard Kyungsoo scoffed.

“Am I really that good to fuck that you couldn’t resist my call?”

Chanyeol stopped reading before glaring at Kyungsoo. It will be a lie if those words didn’t hurt him at all.

“Excuse me?”

“What?”

“Why did you say that?”

“You completely know what will happen whenever we’re together while I’m drunk. You have an exam today, yet you still want to do it. Am I that irresistible to you that you can’t ignore my call, Park Chanyeol?”

“What the fuck are you talking about?”

“You only want to be friends with me because you love to fuck me right? You must be like ‘oh, Kyungsoo called. Oh, booty calls!’ every time I call you when I’m drunk right?”

“Do you think I only see you as someone to fuck?”

Chanyeol slammed his flash cards on the table. He can see the sound startled Kyungsoo but he couldn’t listen to Kyungsoo’s accusation anymore.

“Four years, Kyungsoo! For four years, I’ve been repeating the same shit! Call me whenever you’re stress so we can talk about it! So that I can hold you and tell you everything will be okay! I told you to call me when you’re sober! Not when you’re fucking drunk! But what did you do? Yes! You called when you’re drunk! I tried to push you away! I fucking tried! But then you’ll cry! It hurts me to see you cry! What the fuck do you expect me to do, Do Kyungsoo?”

“Chanyeol–”

“You’re more than that, Soo!” Chanyeol cut him off. “You mean so much to me! I care about you a lot! I fucking love you, Do Kyungsoo, but I guess you didn’t see it!”

Kyungsoo looked like he wanted to say something but nothing came out. Only tears dropped from his huge eyes. It stopped all the fire in Chanyeol’s heart. He tried to approach the smaller but Kyungsoo stepped back slowly. Chanyeol wanted to stop him but instead, he just stood still as Kyungsoo took his bag and walked out of his apartment.

Chanyeol didn’t move for a while. After taking a few deep breaths, he moved back to his previous position in front of the table. He reached for his flash cards and started to read them again.

He ignored the tears falling from his eyes and continued to study.

***

One thing Chanyeol is thankful about his self-control when it comes to heartbreaks is that no matter how broken he is, he will never let it ruin his academic life.

He entered the examination hall without Kyungsoo in his mind. He could answer most of the questions. He managed to complete everything exactly 30 minutes before the examination ends. After the invigilator took his answer sheet, he walked out of the hall with a clear mind. He fought the urge to do his victory dance because there were a lot of students outside the hall. He’s a confident person, but he still has an image to maintain.

He’s done with his bachelor degree.

Okay, he still has to wait for his examination result to know if he’ll graduate or not, but whatever.

He’s so fucking done.

He was thinking about having a big lunch in one of his favourite restaurants near the campus. He could already smell the aroma of all his favourite food. Since he is one of the regular customers, the female owner will definitely give him extra rice, and fishcake for his toppokki. He was thinking of asking Sehun to join him since he knew the latter finished his examination this morning. He pulled out his phone from his pocket.

“Chanyeol?”

The images of beef kimchi soondubu jigae and spicy toppokki immediately vanished from his head. Chanyeol halted and tried to find the owner of the familiar voice. He felt his heart threatening to collapse when he saw Kyungsoo stood at a corner of the building. The smaller probably could sense he’s hesitant to get close to him. He stayed still as Kyungsoo walked towards him.

“Hey.”

“Hi.”

“How’s the paper?”

“It’s fine. It’s easier than I thought. Some questions were tricky, but I managed.”

“Oh.”

They went silent for a while. For the first time, Chanyeol didn’t know what to say to Kyungsoo when they always have something to talk about. Probably the incident this morning caused this to happen.

“Soo–”

“Yeol–”

They laughed a little. Kyungsoo gestured his hand towards Chanyeol; silently asking him to speak first. Chanyeol took a deep breath before speaking.

“Soo, I’m so sorry for my words this morning. I was so pissed off. Plus, I was having examination jitters. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

“You didn’t hurt me, Yeol. I was the one who pushed the button. I’m sorry for making you mad hours before your examination.”

“No, Soo. Please–”

“Chanyeol, you’re right though.” Kyungsoo quickly cut him. “I shouldn’t say those words to you in the first place. I was wrong for accusing you such things when you’ve been nothing but kind towards me. I’m such a jerk.”

Chanyeol quickly held Kyungsoo’s narrow shoulder. He made sure his grip is firm but not hard enough to hurt Kyungsoo.

“Please, Soo. Don’t downgrade yourself like that.”

“Oh, come on. I was like a leech sticking to an innocent human, sucking all his blood away. When I’m full, I will move away. When I need more blood, I will repeat the same shit again.”

“Soo, please don’t see yourself that way. You’re drunk. You don’t know what you’re doing.”

“You’re too kind, Chanyeol.”

“Soo–”

“Stop talking!” Kyungsoo cried. “Stop being so kind to me! You’re making this harder for me!”

Chanyeol was panicked when he saw Kyungsoo started to cry. He immediately pulled the smaller into his arms and hugged him tight. Kyungsoo tried to push him away but Chanyeol didn’t let go. He held the doe-eyed man closer to him. He kissed Kyungsoo’s forehead, begging him to stop crying.

“It hurts me, Soo. Please stop crying.”

“I don’t deserve your love, Chanyeol. Please stop being kind to me.”

“No, I won’t.” Chanyeol said firmly. “Stop saying that, Soo. Please.”

“I’m not a good person. I only take advantage of you. I only hurt you. I only used you for sex.”

“I won’t believe that.”

“Why wouldn’t you?”

Chanyeol pulled away a little to hold Kyungsoo by the cheeks. His heart clenched when he saw those chubby cheeks he loves was wet because of the tears. He wiped away those tears before looking at Kyungsoo straight in the eyes.

“Look at me and repeat those words. Look right into me and tell me that you mean every word you say.”

Kyungsoo’s huge eyes began to well up again. Another set of tears were threatening to fall from those beautiful eyes. His lips began to tremble as he shook his head. Chanyeol felt his hopes skyrocketed.

“No. God, no.” Kyungsoo sobbed. “I don’t want to use you for sex. I want you more than that. It’s just–”

“What is it, Soo?” Chanyeol calmly asked.

“I just thought you only wanted me for my body. When you burst this morning, I panicked. I couldn’t believe what I heard. I always told myself that you wouldn’t want me other than being your sex partner. I was hoping you would see me more than that you know? Like, whenever we hang out, I was hoping you would see me as a person. Not just someone you can fuck.”

Kyungsoo stopped talking for a while to breathe. Chanyeol tried to kiss his tears away. When Kyungsoo didn’t stop him, he kept on kissing those chubby cheeks.

“I know you always tell me to call you whenever I feel anxious or stress or anything bad. I don’t want to burden you, you know. I just thought, if I’m drunk, you will be more than happy to fetch me because then, you can have me and my body.”

“Oh my God. Why did you think that?”

“You seemed happy after our first night together. Like, you enjoyed the sex. I want to make you happy and I thought the sex will make you happy.”

“Oh, no. Kyungsoo, please. No. You could never be a burden to me. You’re more than that, Soo. You mean a lot to me. Please, I am happy when I’m with you all the time. Not just because of the sex. You make me happy, Kyungsoo. Seeing you happy made me happy. Even if you don’t want to have sex with me anymore, I still want you. I want you because you’re you, Do Kyungsoo. It’s not just your body I love. I love your whole-being. I love the way you talk. I love your passion. I love you, Do Kyungsoo.”

Kyungsoo just cried more. Chanyeol looked at Kyungsoo fondly. He is so in love with this person. He pulled Kyungsoo closer to him again. His heart bloomed with love when Kyungsoo hugged him back. He kissed Kyungsoo’s crown before started to talk again.

“It would be easier if we be honest about our feelings since the beginning, huh?”

Chanyeol chuckled when he felt Kyungsoo’s nod against his chest. Kyungsoo is so adorable without him trying too hard. He pulled away again to look at the love of his life again.

“What should we do now, hm?” Chanyeol looked into Kyungsoo’s eyes.

“What do you want?” Kyungsoo softly smiled at him.

“Will you be my boyfriend, Do Kyungsoo?”

“I’ll be honoured, Park Chanyeol.”

Chanyeol didn’t wait for one more second. He leaned closer to Kyungsoo before kissing his now boyfriend. This time, their kiss is full of love, not just for lust. He poured all his feelings into the kiss. He smiled when Kyungsoo wrapped his arms around his neck. He deepened the kiss while pulling the smaller closer to his body. When they pulled apart, Chanyeol kissed Kyungsoo’s lips before leaning his forehead towards Kyungsoo’s. They were about to kiss again before they heard a familiar voice.

“Oh my God! Finally!”

They turned around to see Sehun, Jongdae, and Baekhyun kneeling down with both of their knees on the floor while clasping their hands together as if they were praying.

“Dear God, thank you for finally knocking some senses into their stupid heads.” Jongdae started.

“Thank you for letting our stupid friends confess to each other right before we graduate.” Baekhyun continued.

“Thank you, God, for sparing us from seeing our friends drowned in their stupidity again. We pray this lovely but stupid couple as well as the other lovely but stupid couple beside me will last forever.” Sehun added.

“And please lead Oh Sehun to the right path towards Kim Jongin’s heart–ow! Hey I’m praying for you here! You’re welcome!” Baekhyun scolded Sehun who jabbed him at the waist with his knife elbow.

“Amen.” The three of them chorused together.

Chanyeol laughed happily with Kyungsoo securely wrapped in his arms. He said ‘amen’ in his heart as well.

Finally, he can be genuinely happy with Kyungsoo.

**Author's Note:**

> To J: My dear bubu, here's my Chansoo fic comeback after more than a year. I hope you're proud of me.
> 
> Please give feedback for me to improve my writing!
> 
> I'll fix any errors later :)


End file.
